Epic Movie

if ya like or have seen any of the Scary Movie/ Date Movie franchise, you already know what to expect:

parodies of popular movies with either a raunchy/sexual twist to it, and as many of em as you can get and find some odd way to string em all together.

This one starts out with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and then leads into Chronicles of Narnia.

some highlights:
Jennifer Coolidge as The White Bitch
creepy Willy Wonka getting down to 'Fergalicious'
'Aslo'
Capt. Jack Swallows
Carmen Electra as Mystique from X-Men
Harry Potter, Ron and Hermoine get old

and probably one of the funniest lines in the movie:
The White Bitch: "If you bring the others back, I'll let you come to my White Castle"
Edward (Kal Penn aka "Kumar"): "I have the strangest feeling I've been there before..."

altho i didnt wanna murder myself, like a certain co-worker of mine, I'll admit, i did feel my IQ slip a lil... dont bother wasting your money on it unless you're really really bored, and even then, rethink spending the price of admission on it.

Alpha Dog

Just screened "Alpha Dog."

it's basically about the drug world and some young adults that dig themselves a little too deep.

The one guy owes his 'boss' (the drug lord of our tale) some cash from a deal he made, but due to the deal going wrong, he refuses to pay. in turn, his boss gets him fired from his actual day job, resulting in the guy to go berserk. in a random sponteous event, the drug lord and his buddies kidnap the guy's 15yr old brother, who's more than thrilled to go with them, get away from his overprotective parents, and help his brother out. The druggies soon learn that because they're technically holding the kid for randsom, they could face life in prison. The kid's given multiple chances to just hop a bus and go home, no questions asked, yet he doesnt want to create anymore problems for his brother. Little does he know, it could cost him his life.

Considering it's based on a true story and told sort of like an episode of CSI or Law and Order - datelines/stamps and all - it was actually pretty decent with a pretty surprising cast. Yes, there's Justin Timberlake, all in tattoos, but there's also Bruce Willis, Sharon Stone and some other well known actors you've seen in other things.

Apparently this film was also pushed back multiple times by the FBI and police due to the fact that the drug lord guy was just found and apprehended not even 2 years ago (the story takes place in 1999) and is currently awaiting trial.

The Hitcher

This week screening was 'The Hitcher' starring Sophia Bush and Sean Bean. 2 typical college kids are making the usual spring break road trip like all college kids in movies do and almost hit a guy in the middle of nowhere in the rain. After meeting up with him in a convenient store, they agree to give him a ride to the nearest motel, only on their way, they learn he's a psychopath killer.

The girl's the only smart one in this entire movie. Moral of the story boys: listen to your girlfriend in the first place. Cuz the more he didn't, the worse their situation became...

Yes, it's a remake but with a tad different stuff to keep today's culture interested. Yes, there's scene involving 2 semi's and a body. Yes, it was a tad predictable, but we still jumped at parts. And yes, parts of it reminded us of 'Jeepers Creepers' and 'Joy Ride'. But all things considered, it was actually pretty decent for a thriller/horror/soft action flick.

Best scene though (spoiler)- they're driving a stolen cop car in the desert with a helicopter and 3 cop cars chasing behind them. Cue NiN's 'Closer' and here comes the hitcher, speeding behind in a black trans am with a rifle. He single-handly takes out the 3 cop cars AND the helicopter, then passes the couple he's been terrorizing, giving them a 'hey, what's going on? dont mess with me' look and just drives off. NiN fades...